I hope you had the time of your life..

Ok. I'm being so average blogger lately. Again. I kinda apologize. I'm in a really strange place in life with a lot of big changes and I guess I'm struggling in knowing if I'm doing the right things or not. But some things have come up and I feel like It's my duty as a human being to bla bla bla about it to the virtual world like every other fucking American does. We sit on our asses and type shit to people in New Zealand who don't give a shit. I digress.

So here's the downer. I went to a funeral this week. This is nothing new. People die every day. I've been to countless wakes, funerals.... there's been a lot of great loss in my life. This is a scene of which I'm used. To. I'm used to it.

Shut up.



The tragic thing about this death is.. Not only was it entirely a shock and surprise to all... He was only 32. He was the brother in law to one of my best friends. I've met Steve a handful of times amongst the hustle and bustle of gatherings, and events.He's been married to Kelley for 6 years. They have 2 small children (whom are adorable and disgustingly brilliant and hysterical).



I want to go on to my subject. The bullshit and nothingness we've turned our lives and world into. Why do we waste so much time when we don't even know how much we've got?! It's like.. someone handing you a gift card without a balance. How much is on there? Can I buy a soda? A new couch? What?

We don't know a fucking thing.. yet we strut around like we've got all the time in the world.

 

We play games. We make bad decisions. We're selfish. We're rude. We're hurtful. We turn our backs on one another.



Why?



Why do we do these things?



These are questions I don't have answers for. We've all done these things... We've all done them for different reasons. I'm an Irish Catholic.. My conscience is incredibly intimidating. I feel bad.. and guilty.. and awful all the time. If I've hurt someone? It tears me up. Sure, I might never apologize, or own up... in fact.. some people might even call bullshit on me right now. But what about the people who don't give a shit at all about anyone but themselves? What's the deal? Are they just a shitty person? Were they raised that way? Are their parents shitty people too? Is it an acquired shitty?

I suppose what I'm getting at.. is to not waste your time on this Earth by being a negative soul. Be cautious in the things you do... but don't throw your life away. Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you laugh. Go where you smile. Don't sweat the petty (different from petting the sweaty... next blog topic. noted.). Be someone people get excited to see. And be someone who makes people sad when they go.


We truly never know when we have to give up our energy. Live like it's tomorrow.