What color is that kettle? Is that black or.. more of a natural blend?

I was recently talking to a male friend of mine... We got into a conversation about "The Chase". As I've said in past entries.. Dating may as well be dead in today's cultural society. Now it's all about the game. The chase! You win if you're both on the same page. If you both want the same things. Or.. if one can convince the other to "take a chance!" or to "Go against your first instinct!" or to "Take the plunge!". Ya know.. like in the movies... where everyone ends up perfect, and happy!!... or dead!

Trust me... I've got a sword, a torn vest and pecks you can bounce a quarter off...

Ya never really know how that's gonna turn up....


Regardless... The chase interests me. Men sometimes have that animalistic instinct where they need to chase what they desire. But... to quote our most recent studly joker:

"I'm a dog chasing cars... I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!".

Men can be similar. Again don't feel as if I'm saying ALL men. I'm not that guy. This is all just recent bullshit I've noticed. Calm the fuck down.


Man sees girl. Man wants girl. Girl gives in. Man gets girl. Man gets bored. Girl gets pissed. Man blocks girl from facebook/cellphone. Girl becomes psycho for lack of closure...

Just.. lemme smell him...

or...




Man sees girl. Man wants girl. Girl plays hard to get. Man tries harder. Girls plays harder. Man takes further steps to prove interest. Girl falls for bullshit. Man gives the look:

Girl swoons. Man gets girl. Girl gets attached. Man gets lame. Girl gets bitchy. Man dumps girl. Girl loses faith in humanity, men, and becomes a lesbian.

Or... you can be me.

Girl sees man. Girl wants man. Man weirded the fuck out. Girl says something witty and walks away. Man confused. Man follows girl. Girl threatens mans masculinity. Man gets pissed... yet intrigued... Girl amused. Man tries pick up line. Girl goes home. Man scratches head. Girl pets cat.

Meet Ritalin.

There's a number of other scenarios.. I could be here all night. This might be a new game for me.

Moving on. There are so many ways to roll the dice. What are the odds of landing on the correct situation? At the same time as someone else? How do you sync? In a world where no one is up front about anything, and we all have our burdens and walls up... Is it hopeless?

I refuse to believe it. What the point in being so final about everything? Especially if it's such a negative, dark thing! I'm open and happy. I have friends... and sometimes I'm even a little snide and bitter. It happens! No judgies! Despite how awesome I am.. I'm still human. I'm here. And I'm learning. Maybe I'm totally wrong but I don't think I am... I actually feel more in touch with myself and the dating world, and men in general than I ever have. I feel like I'll never settle or be disappointed again. And I'm sure I need a therapist for that last sentence... but who cares? Who doesn't need a therapist these days? Fuck it! Seriously...



What's that itchy feeling? Love? Or did I get too close to a public toilet seat?

I feel like I should be arrested for trying to write about love. Seriously... who the hell am I? Single. That's who. First of all.. have you seen this video? Watch it anyway. I'm sure you'll think it's hysterical:

It actually has some spot on impressions. I, for example am the girl at: 13 sec, 1 min, 1.03, 1.18 and beyond!

Now that that's outta the way. We can move on to bigger and better things.

I'm not actually going to write about love today. I am SO not ready for that entry! I don't think anyone really is...

Instead I'd like to talk about our younger days. Myself included, once I hit 25 or so.. I'd heard more and more of people "Taking a step back", or "Getting back on track", or as I've put it.. "Finding myself". What happened? Do we all fuck up that much in our late teens/early 20's? So much to the point where we have to put our lives on hold so we can 'figure it out'? I think it's a phase most people go through... you're young! You have this new found Independence and freedom! The World is in front of you and you're ready to take it all on! But we start drinking. and missing work/classes, making poor decisions, And having crazy sex parties. And cocaine.

Start whistlin', boys!

Ok.. maybe not cocaine... but in some cases, yes! Probably!

In any case.. a lot of us make some poor decisions. In my case I started working. Once you start working, it's hard to stop for school, or a new town, or.. much of anything. You take what you can get and accept that that's your life. It doesn't matter if you think it's only temporary. It's only going to change if you get fed up with it all and do something about it. Which is where I'm at now and which is why I'm "Finding myself". Ahh yes it all comes back.

The World has such an incredible way to force "Right" and "Wrong" on us. Every culture does it... and we're all different. The role of society can often make one feel like a failure if they don't make it to the top. For this reason... the 'failures' have low self esteem and the 'winners' are cocky assholes who think they know everything about everything ever in the history of the world. They're wrong a lot.. but unfortunately they get to control what's right and wrong as they're on top. And I'm a loser.

Success is different for everyone. No one besides yourself, can decide whether you hit it or not

. People constantly want to offer advice, or solutions to your 'problem's whether you have them or not. Be your own person. Make your own choices. Do what's right for you.

Who says if you're a slut you have to shop at Wet Seal?

Who says if you're a Vegan, you have to have tattoos and a pixie cut??

Who says if you're a Republican you have to drink the blood of 6 homeless people each quarter???

I rest my case. Before you start trying to find yourself.. realize these stupid little rules and life points are all bullshit. Make your life what you want it to be. You're the one living it.

But if I could give one piece of advice... Wear. Sunscreen.