Motivation? Anyone? Nah. It's too fuckin hot.

It's seriously hot as balls in my world today. Jesus. Happy fuckin Summer.

Anyways.



What the fuck is the point of dating? Seriously! Why do we do it? WHY. DO.WE. DO. IT?! Is the purpose to get married? A safety net? The fear of dying alone? To procreate? To have a date to family functions? To ride bikes through the mountains? Money? To fit in? Because we're brainwashed into thinking that's what we're supposed to do?


Yes.


From the day we're born there's jokes and comments of arranged marriages between friends who have babies at the same time...

 It's even worse for girls! Bride Barbie... I can't tell you how many fantastic weddings I've planned and executed for that bitch....

 Princess Brides! Dress up wedding dresses! I even had this little kit that came with a veil, gloves, accessories.... whole package. As children we play house.. taking on gender specific roles. I kid you not... I was always the family dog. There's some foreshadowing for ya... We rush into it all. Why? Because we don't have time? We want to enjoy every moment? Seriously. If you're fresh out of college, and you aren't in a serious relationship the comments start. Forget about grad school, or getting your masters, or ya know.. a career... It's "Are you seeing anyone special?" We're programmed.



This fuckin bitch once asked how things were going with a guy in which I was spending time. I told her it was still going  well but we got along more as friends. Who occasionally have sex. And go to breakfast. Do you know what this idiot said to me? This 23 year old pregnant and engaged (sometimes when they aren't fighting) bitch? She said "You like him but you don't want to be with him? Now isn't the time to be picky! What are you waiting for? You're going to miss your window and end up all alone! I mean.. you're like.. 27, right? That's almost 30..."

Fuck the WHAT?! What the fuck did you just fuckin say to fuckin me fuck?! FUCK!

Legit. Serious.

My response of course was "Well.. We can't all figure our lives out at 23. Enjoy food stamps."

So instead of my being aware that this person is not Mr. Right for me... I was shunned for not "making it work". He's since started dating someone WAY more adventurous than I. They do all that crazy Groupon adventure package shit. They travel. They shoot guns and go running. (sooo not me!)

                               I'm more of a "Let's go get matching tattoos!" kinda adventurous...

 Or... Let's cook tonight! Those who know me realize that can be quite an adventure... yikes...

They're moving in with each other to an awesome apartment soon. He told me this over lunch last week. So instead of all that wonderful compatible stuff he has going on.. we could be FORCING happiness on ourselves with each other! Boy.. we fucked *that* one up...  What an idiot.



It's at the point where.. if you're single and over 25.. you feel like you're doing something wrong. You feel that crunch time. That clock is ticking! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?! But take a step back and look at who's pushing! What the fuck is the divorce rate right now? Kids now, more often than EVER, have 2 sets of parents! Mom and Randy, and Dad and Matilda! That's not the path I wanna go down. I also don't want to do the stay together for the kids thing because they always fucking know.

Maybe not at first but they catch on. Kids don't get enough credit. They're fucking smart when they wanna be. Fuckin detectives and shit...drinkin all my wine... little bastards...



My point is... There's nothing wrong with being single. At. All. There's always perks to every side! Of course being with that one person creates stability. Routine. Someone who knows where you're at. Someone to come home to. Someone to take care of dinner if you're running late.. someone to bring you tampons and fresh skivvies if you're bleeding all over yourself at work ( I'm a realist. That's fucking love, right there..)... someone to laugh with, someone to cry with, someone to be there for you. And you for them! You gotta be there for your person!

But the single life? Is an adventure all on it's own. You have no one to answer to. You can stay out as late as you want... you can go to bed as early as you want. You can watch SVU marathons naked on your couch with a pint of Heath Bar Crunch and a glass of Rose'. Oh.. that was a little to real...

You can go to whatever parties you want.. bars.. Late night viewings of "The Blob" at your local cinema...  see whoever.. go wherever....



I've learned more about myself in this past year, than I ever have.


If you settle for someone who isn't your match, not necessarily bad for you, but someone who doesn't quite mesh and mold with you.. you'll never find yourself. You'll turn into someone you can live with... but there's something missing. There's a part of you that is reaching to come out but you hide it away because it doesn't work anymore in your life. If you're with the right person.. that will be embraced.




Hold out for greatness. Someone to compliment you. Not just with praise but, someone who goes well with you. Understands you. GETS you. The real you.



It doesn't hurt if they're sexy, either. 

We don't talk about quickies.

I'm not drunk this time. I promise. If I was I'd tell you. Yes I would. Don't fucking argue with me! Fuck.


Days after my last blog (If you missed it, I went on and on about how stupid I was for dating someone.. but I really fucking like him and he really fucking likes me and bla bla bla) I realized I actually WAS pretty stupid. At least I sure felt like it. I hate to even admit it.. but I was foiled! What the fuck? Why does this keep happening?

I'll tell ya.


I don't have a fucking clue. I'm not going to pretend like I do. I can have a theory or two, or seven, or sixty five. It doesn't mean I have it figured out yet. Or.. that I ever will. It was very short, and early on therefore I'm certainly not heart broken.. I'm almost concerned as I haven't skipped a beat. But I do actually want to talk about this sillyness of what just happened to my love life. However, I will postpone until I can separate myself from it first, and take a look in. Really organize and focus my thoughts and try to get it out there.

This will be the shortest, least creative blog in my history.

SHould I drunk when I'm blog? Yes. Yes I should.

Ok so let me start by breaking the news to all of the eligible and married men out there who may have shown interest/lust my way. I started seeing someone. And I feel so fucking stupid for doing so...I don't want it all out the for the world to see because I truly believe that dooms a relationship. That topic is for another day.

Anyways Why do I feel so stupid? So fucking stupid? Because of this world. These standards.. these odds. Seriously.. the liklyhood of this relationship standing through the vast bullshit of our time is SO against us. Why even try? Because I really fucking like him, and he really fucking likes me. What an idiot, right? Nah, I know I can be a catch. Calm down, Princess.



I'm turning into a psycho. Me. Of all people. The author of this hysterical and informative blog. It's not scary psycho.. but it's not cute. It's almost concerning. But we *ARE* able to laugh and joke about it at the bar with friends so it's not a total basketcase issue.

Why? Why am I a psycho, all of a sudden? (I use this phrase losely)

 
I'll tell ya why. (Twist my fucking arm)




I'm a psycho because of the same reason most girls are psychos. Or huge raving bitches. For the same reason most men are asshats, or deuchebags, and mamas boys, or for the same reason we all have the tendency to be distant or clingy, depending on the day. Because we have a history. We have baggage. We've been hurt. It sounds so fucking cliche', and not everyone can relate. For example... if you marry your high school sweetheart, you might be ok. I feel sorry for your lack luster sex life... but I'm sure you're still ok! For the rest of us? We're fucked. Royally fucked in the ass. With a rusty switchblade. That's been covered in Salt. For some reason when I typed that, I pictured an ass getting a paper cut. That shit would hurt.

I digress. We all have baggage. Not to quote musical theatre... but I'm totally going to quote musical theatre. "I'm lookin for baggage that goes with mine"


Let's just accept the fact that if you're still single in your late 20's and beyond, you're going to have some scars. And you're probably going to need to talk about them. And you're probably going to cry. And you'll probably be embarassed. And then single. Again. Because everyone is so fucking proud. "She's a stage 9 clinger!"

Well.. fucking DUH! Who isn't?! Like you're so perfect! You live in your mom's basement, you work at Best Buy part time and you spend all your money on Mountain Dew, your XBOX account, and a bitchin sword collection! There's a big fuckin winner right there! Can't wait to plant my seed with YOU, ya fuckin jack monger!

Seriously?

Ugh,


Ok so I met this fella when I was working my shift at a bar. I never get hit on. Let me explain to those of you who don't actually know me. I work on Pride night at a karaoke bar. Yeah, they exist. I sing show tunes with a bunch of fucking homos and lesbians and we get shitfaced. People think I'm a Lesbian because I'm a huge supporter of the lifestyle.


Just because you run in the cancer race, doesn't mean you have cancer.

Jussayin.


Anyways, he was there. We met. We talked. We're both awesome so we hit it off right away. A few months passed and we decided to "make it official" How fucking lame is that? Jesus...

Anyways. Since then... I've totally lost my shit. I'm pissed at myself for this. I'd rather be naked in front of a stadium of people than lose cool credibility. I think the stadium is grateful it's the other way around.. Luckilly he's totally laid back, cool, patient and understanding... or too fucking busy... But we work it out.




Why was I awesome, and fine, and normal before a title? I'm invested. Before? There was nothing to lose. A guy thinks I'm awesome. Sweet! Nothing to lose... I had sole gain from his compliments and such. But now? He wants to *date* me? And ONLY me? And... me to ONLY date him? Pressure is ON.


I think it's safe to say we've all been cheated on in one way or another. Why does that suck so bad? Is it the trust? Is it us feeling like we aren't good enough? Why do we drive those to cheat? Again... another blog.


Everything turns into a controversy. A cover up. There's something bigger that we don't see and that drives us fucking CRAZY.

If knowing is half the battle... I guess I half win?