Suddenly I realize it's time to leave this place... Not that I expected to stay on that beach my entire life, but I was of course, hoping to stay until after 5:00... I had no choice in the matter... because my mom yells to me:
"Megan Mary! Get that sand out of your bathing suit and pack up your beach toys! It's time to go home!"Ahh.. such is life as a 6 year old...
People often look back on their childhood as care free and simple. I look back and think of how confused I was. Not to say my childhood was hard, by any means.. but I often had no idea what was going on. I lived my life day to day without care, or worry... The way a child should. But as every child also does, I took it all for granted. I longed to spend time with my sisters and their friends. I come from a family of 3 girls. My sisters are 10 and 13 years older than I. I'm what you call... not a mistake but.. "A Surprise!" or my favorite.. "A Gift From God!". I took the simple things for granted. I was so curious about what it was like to be an adult... I had such a longing but at the same time.. I had a huge fear of it. Even then I was torn and didn't know what I wanted.. To stay young? To grow old? Maybe get stuck in the middle somewhere? Who knows... Certainly not this girl.
Today I'm 27. Not like it's my Birthday but.. I mean.. I was 27 yesterday too... and will be for another 6 months..
I'm 27. And single. And clueless.
I've done my share of dating. So It isn't really fair to call myself COMPLETLY clueless... But I'm promising myself to remain single until I really figure all of this out. So I guess I'll be moving soon to buy a house to make room for all of my stray cats...??
No. Again that's not fair. I really haven't lost hope on that perfect relationship but.. with so many failed marriages and divorces and heartache.. I feel the responsible thing to do is to get smart about dating! No more settling. No more excuses. No more faking! This time around I'm really noticing the lack of effort put into dating. One night stands are as common as a handshake. No one is expected to call anyone.. Basically one party will enjoy the other party more than said party. He who care less has the power. It's sad how true this really is...
I'm fascinated with dating up until the 50's. The damn hippies and womens rights movements killed courting. From then on it was all equal this, and equal that.. burning bras and joining unions and marches. I support what they went through and eventually acheived.. i think it was brave, and bold, and charismatic. It was liberty! And JUSTICE! However... that brought on a whole turning point for the way men looked at women. It was all different from that moment on. There was a new painting to look at... Now women have a voice. An opinion. Hell.. We can blog whatever the fuck we want! We are now a stranger creature... with feelings and emotions and no one knows how to put it into an after school special anymore! Women are different! WHAT DO WE DO!?!?!!!??! Do we open doors for them? Do we compliment their sweaters?? Do you pat them on the ass after doing a good job?!?! No one knows. And men grew scared. Or maybe the fact that they had to start cooking dinner came to play so they lost track of time and no longer notice hair cuts!
Maybe they got angry because now they have to share jobs with women.
Who knows? Who knows why it changed? But it did. And it's never been the same...
Opening doors, formal dates, flowers, and kisses on doorsteps are few and far between. Now you're almost expected to give your all after your first round of drinks at the bar at 11:30 on a Wednesday night... If you do? You never hear from them again... If you don't? You never hear from them again...
Would that be considered a win win? a lose lose? or a win lose lose win??
More on this... at 11.
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